Those (infuriating) statements sound to me like someone who is saying “I’m going to do my own thing and don’t want to cooperate or have to adhere to any agreements with you”. So I was simply letting him know that was my understanding of his statements.
Possibly. My read is that you had an escalating conversation, he was clearly using emotional reasoning, and probably does not feel as strongly as you are thinking he does. Either way, leave him to sort it out.
None of that is meant to defend him. I don't know the details of the agreement or how it was violated. I've had my own conflict over agreements a lot lately. It is aggravating, I know.
This may or may not resonate with you, but lately I have been thinking my goal of co-parenting amicably is just as much of a fantasy as R was 6 months ago. Co-parenting uses all the same DB techniques. Let go of the rope (in this case, the hope of two parents providing a perfect parenting arrangement). Control what YOU can control, let the rest flow by. Of course I will be amicable, but I can't FORCE it... I can only handle things respectfully and in a business-like fashion on my side.
Originally Posted by HopeCA
I’m having a new combination of emotions and it’s throwing me. I’m feeling simultaneously strong/wanting to stand up for myself and say “enough”, combined with feeling sadder, and more heartbroken than I have in awhile. It’s not just that I wanted reconciliation, it’s that I really believed we had a chance, and I don’t feel that way anymore. That leads to feelings of desperation for me, and it’s a lot of work for me to sort out which impulses stem from my desperation so that I can stop myself from taking those actions.
You have made a ton of progress. Celebrate the small victories.
Are you feeling desperate, or are you going through a natural grieving process?
