You don’t offend me at all! I, too come here for honest feedback of any and all kinds. And I think you are probably right about it all.
To answer your question, I’m not sure which it is he doesn’t agree with. It’s possible that he only disagrees about the point at hand, but he kind of doubled down and made it sound like he disagreed about what it looks like to coparent. I said this to him because he had texted me that the way he parents our daughter is going to be “his business”, in response to me saying I was that it was my understanding that he didn’t plan to return to adhering to the agreement we’d made. He had also said “we had an agreement, but things change”.
Those (infuriating) statements sound to me like someone who is saying “I’m going to do my own thing and don’t want to cooperate or have to adhere to any agreements with you”. So I was simply letting him know that was my understanding of his statements. If it is simply that he doesn’t agree on that one point, then I figure there will be a time to sort that out, when things are less tense.
I think you’re right about your 2X4s. Im annoyed at myself about it, because I had a plan to avoid getting into a talk with him and I executed it. And instead of taking the out, avoiding talking and leaving as I expected him to, he pulled me into a different talk, and I allowed him to.
I’m having a new combination of emotions and it’s throwing me. I’m feeling simultaneously strong/wanting to stand up for myself and say “enough”, combined with feeling sadder, and more heartbroken than I have in awhile. It’s not just that I wanted reconciliation, it’s that I really believed we had a chance, and I don’t feel that way anymore. That leads to feelings of desperation for me, and it’s a lot of work for me to sort out which impulses stem from my desperation so that I can stop myself from taking those actions.
