It's not enough just for her agree to MC after she's gone NC, she has to actually cooperate in attending, and to participate.
Honestly, we went to MC 3 times after the BD and it went like this: 1st time-i was emotional, sad, begging, etc. She said sorry and that was about it.
2nd-time I was incredibly angry and attacked her. She shut down and said, "what's the point of coming?" The therapist intervened and said I am allowed these feelings and it was good to get them out. During this session I sai I will not accept her still seeing the OM. The therapist asked her to come back to the following session with a decision.
3rd time-I was quiet but civil. She spoke much more, owning her behaviors and saying they were wrong. However, she also said "she didn't want pressure from either guy right now so she could figure herself out. That she could lose either guy by next week so it was important to focus on herself." the therapist asked her if she was still seeing the other guy, which she said, "I am still talking to him." I immediately turned to the therapist and asked why I would start to come. He decided to book a 4th appointment but asked us to skip a week so I could think about if I should come back. Listening to this board, I decided to end MC (and started seeing the same therapist as my IC).
By the end of the 3rd session, I do feel like there was progress. My W will be more open and honest in MC than she will be with me. Mainly, that is due to her becoming so angry and defensive anytime she feels cornered (which is probably all the time with the guilt she has). That is why oi thought it might be good to go back. But I guess I am grasping for straws.
