Shoot, new I should have added "Continue" to Replay...and on we go...
The card that I put in H's lunchbox yesterday, I put my name on the inside, so I'm ASSuming he knew it was from me....but then he never came home last night so maybe it scared him to OW's. At least I'm ASSuming he's there, at least those are the thoughts I've had off and on all night.
The anxiety was there, it wasn't too bad. I did sleep, but the thought of H drunk at OW's kept coming to mind, tried to keep my ming off those "circumstances" and on the Lord. It is hard to my trust in the Lord, there's an internal struggle of where to put my fears. I'm programmed to turn to the circumstance and let my mind run wild, where if I do focus on the Lord it's calmer, peaceful. But it's not automatic so I go back and forth. The nights are the hardest, but any thoughts of giving up were immediately pushed away. Funny how a few weeks ago I didn't think I could go through another night of H's disappearing act, but I'm okay.
I'm not really too upset that H didn't come home, that he didn't call. He called me yesterday afternoon at work, but I was busy so didn't pick up the phone. On my way home from work I tried to call him but his phone was turned off.
Now the waiting, we're supposed to sign some bank papers today at 4:30 so will just plan that he'll be there.
