IMHO, she can stay with her parents and work from their home......or wherever, but you don't have to allow her back into your home on her excuses. Now, be prepared in case some poster starts telling you that if her name is on the mortgage then blah, blah, blah. Don't worry about any of that right now. If she wants to push things legally, so be it. Don't mention any of this to her. I'm just sharing with you, in case it comes up in a post. I see a woman who retreated b/c her H had the b@lls to tell his cheating W that she wasn't wanted there as long as she was still contacting her lover. Bravo!!
You are right, she is going to work from her parents' house (like she is today). I don't want her in my house. Also, the house is in my name, mortgage in my name, she has never paid a cent to it. Unfortunately,I know she legally has a right to come here but buy her stating last night and this morning in a text that she was coming over, she was coming to talk, and that she was moving into the basement, but never actually came, I don't think she really would just show up.
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Ignore her constant calls, she just wants to verbally bash you, try to manipulate you, use her tears to make you feel sorry for her.
I did ignore her, and obviously she was calling to get me on the line and not my D. She tried saying it was to talk to my D (even though we FaceTime 30 min after her continuous calls). The hard part is when she texts asking about our D. I ignored them last night and this morning, but I don't know if I should do that. I know she is texting "tell her I love her" or "how was her day" just to get me in a convo with her.
Should I respond to her texts about our D?
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She may stay mad and hateful for quite a while, especially while she's still contacting OM. But when that affair is over, and if she's suffered enough consequences, she stands a greater chance in making a turnaround in her own mindset.
How long do you think she could carry this on for? I thought she was making changes because she wanted me, but in actuality, I think she she was scared and wanted to cake eat. She even was FaceTiming with her friends and asking me to say hi to them, telling them that we are all hanging out. Why do that if you are still contacting the OM??? Her friends don't like the fact that she had an A....and told her to stop it. So she pretends like everything is fine between us but continues to lie to them?
To be fair, I did ask her last night if she was still talking to him, which she immediately said, "yes, I told you we still talk." At least she admitted it. I don't think she is seeing him because of social distancing, bars closed, etc.
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Quote I'm going to sit down and write my boundaries up to email her (if you guys agree it's a good idea). I will post them on here first.
No! Not yet. Hold on, and give me a few minutes to talk to you about it in the next post. Okay?
Okay, I will wait. I want to send her something today/tomorrow because I want her to know my actual stance on things b/c it hasn't really been stated. Also, I think if I can hold the line, that email that she has been writing for weeks may finally come and give me some insight on what she is thinking. My guess is, it will say I need time to think like she has been saying for weeks. But I can tell that by me telling her to leave and not come back, not to work from here, and then ignoring all calls and texts, she is starting to chase me a bit...that has to be a good thing.
