MLC newbie

[Believe6]

DnJ, you made me cry... so many wise, wise things you say. Both to me and so many others. I've read so many of your posts. And yes, you are right. I have not believed I could be patient. I use "believe" because it's a word that chose a few years back to guide my year. I was hoping that when things got rough, I could use faith to help me. But I have struggled with faith- real faith- my entire life. I am a control freak. I do want to do things and make this work out.

I prayed for God to show me how to have faith a couple of years ago... and now this? I guess the joke (or the growth) is all on me.

You are also right about not interrupting his journey. He needs to do this in his own time in his own way. He told me this morning he thinks I'm lost about what I want. I think he meant about us. I told him I'm not lost about that. I'm lost about what to do about work. But I'm not lost with what I want my life to be and who I want to be.

I hope that didn't seem to invalidate him. I let him know that I get how hard, confusing and scary this time is. Because he's shared in the past that's how he feels. I hope that at least did validate things.

I will leave him be and stop looking like I am checking in or trying to see how he's doing. I will keep doing what i can for my kids. And I will come here and also connect with my other friends.

It's time I stopped looking at him and started looking at me and those others who could use my love and support right now. Thank you, DnJ. You are a light and an inspiration.