A long day. H talks to so many friends, the group calls plus others from work. He is surrounded by friends even during this stay at home directive. He shared our favorite cookbook with one of them tonight, which got to me. He does say “our” sometimes when talking to his friends, meaning what belongs to me and him, which I find weird. There is no “our” right now, really, is there? He seems so happy, carefree, except for the venting he does about work (to me, a little; to them, a lot). He laughs a lot. I am stuck thinking he is just really happy and has the great life he wanted. It really doesn’t seem like I added much to it, if he is content now. I know I should be happy if he is happy. But I’m feeling sad and invisible instead. Riding another wave of emotion.
