I spoke to my husband in person for the first time since the DB. He's so cold and distant. It really hurts. He is also very defensive and acts like he is the victim. WTF? Anyways, is this normal?
Yes it's normal. How long it lasts varies. It could be a few months or a few years. My XW continued it through S and D. It wasn't until a couple of years after D that she started warming up to me again.
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I feel like this is beyond repair. Does everyone feel like this in the beginning?
Yes, because the WAS sends out signals that it's over and done and zero chance of recon. But that is only a reflection of how he feels right now. He may very well change his mind later.
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Any advice from you vets would be appreciated. Thanks.
You've got to accept his current behavior as temporary and try not to let it get to you. It's going to take a very long time before you might start seeing the "old him" again.
