WW Patience, Limbo amd Fear

[Core]

Questions:

What are your boundaries and consequences for a snide remark?

If its not a joking remark, I tell her I wont engage with someone who makes remarks like that and tell her Ill engage with her in the future when shes ready to communicate respectfully.

What are you boundaries and consequences for rude facial expressions?

Same as above

Put you answers down on a sheet of paper, so you can read them over and over.

Once you state your boundary and provide you consequences the gauntlet is laid and there's backing away or do overs.

So you have to prepare yourself to react not in anger but in confidence and calmness, if you react in anger you are going to say things you can't take back.

IMPO (In my personal opinion) Try to create boundaries and consequences around facial expressions and snide remarks makes you look weak and petty. The best way to deal with her is to rise above her being petty and present a calm and confident man.

She makes a rude facial expression, you look at her calmly and you don't react at all, because you know what you said makes sense and is not wrong/you're right. Or maybe you did something wrong, but you correct yourself and get it moving.

Remember, you aren't trying to go back and forth with your W, your are showing her a new and improve man. How does a new and improve Core acts/reacts and presents himself to the world.

Onward and Forward.

Thanks for the response. I kicked it around in my head for a few days. I see no point staying around her if she can't be respectful. I bring a lot of value to a family, woman and R yet she can treat me poorly.... Im not having it. She is living a great life because of what my family and I provided. She just wanted more. One thing i couldn't provide with mass sleep loss. Passion. That and I showed weakness with anxiety and she pulls away. Pulled away too far in to anothers virtual arms.

My family is safe, protected and completely provided for during this crisis because of my planning and choices. She still complained on the phone a week ago to a friend that she is unhappy. "Im just not happy with him, Im unhappy".

I dont know what more one could want. Why does she think its my job to make her happy? She has a beautiful family, a nice house, top school district, had a husband that adored her and shared in her interests, bedroom was good, loving family on my side, financial security. She had all the groundwork to help her from distractions and find her own happiness. Instead she seeks OM for the missing passion I cant provide with a newborn. Does she think im going to crawl back and woo her after her affair while she takes no action? Legit, no improvements done on her end. No action taken to help herself through this.

What am I supposed to do? No one of her end knows of her affair that I know of. They all are told I'm some monster that cant keep my wife happy. She jokes to her friend how I mentioned I wont talk to her unless she is respectful. Like its some random new thing to respect someone who gave you almost everything you have. What the F. Im pushed further, I see no point staying with her anymore. If she can't self reflect, then she'll always make me or future men responsible for her happiness. Not fair to any man. I hope my daughter doesnt learn from her.

What else do I do for me and the kids in a situation like this? Its been I think two full months since her and OM had a communication. 9 to 10 months since this all started. I dont think I want a OW or her. This all just disgusts me on such a deep level. My story and the others here. The WWs seem so much less likely to return than a WH. Im my case, the person who'd return would be the same whom left. I dont want that for me or the kids. She's lying about me to friends amd family...I know with 100 percent certainty. Why would I want someone who lies to everyone close to her?