Seperated but holding on for reconciliation

[SteveLW]

I'm lost now. Am I meant to be standing up to her disrespect, or ignoring it and dropping the rope?

Depends. If the disrespect is by text. Ignore it. If she is being disrespectful to your face, then stand up for yourself. "I will not stand here and allow you to speak to me that way." Then walkaway.

You ask this question as if dropping the rope is equal to ignoring it. It is not. You can stand up to her disrespect when you need to and still drop the rope.

As far as training her, because that is exactly what it is, it is kind of like training a dog. Positive reinforcement works better than punishment. What does that mean? That means that if she tries to engage you in a disrespectful way, do not engage her. It is kind of like a yellow lab I had years ago. When he wanted my attention, he'd jump up on me. The way I broke that was that when he jumped on me, my attention went away. Eventually he learned that if he wanted my attention,. jumping up on me was not the way it was done. Your WAS needs to learn the same thing, when she treats you disrespectfully, she doesn't get what she wants. But when she approaches you respectfully, then you engage her in a positive friendly way.

Now be aware, it may take a LONG time for her to get that message. This is not something you point out to her verbally because she may dig her heels in. It is something that consistency and repetition will enforce and reinforce over time.