I had our D and my W was to come to get her after she got out of work. She asked if we all wanted to go for a walk. I agreed this time. Again, I was civil but not chasing in any way. When we got back, she said that she was disappointed in herself and that everyone should be disappointed in her. She asked if my family and friends hated her. I told her no but they were also disappointed and angry that you did this. She said he understood that. That they deserve to have "choice words" with her.
We started talking logistics of the week (she begins working from home as I do so we talked about what that would look like for our D). She asked if she could have dinner at the house due to working late. I agreed. At that point, she said, we are taking this one day at a time. I didn't really respond and refocused on my D. We did hang out outside for a few hours and we did have laughs and good discussion (not about the A). I realize this may look like she is trying to brush this under the rug, which she could be, but I will not allow her off the hook that easy. As Sandi said, if she plans to stay longterm she will then know my expectations. If it is a lockdown, she is "the old lady living with me who owes me rent" and I will not discuss the A or R at all.
I could tell this was her way of "breaking the ice" to start the convo. However, I didn't want to have it then nor did I want to push her about the OM. Should I ask if she is going to move in as a result of a lockdown? I would definitely ask if was her just moving in w/o a lockdown. Truth be told, she can't see him anyways and I know for a fact she hasn't been seeing him because she is at her parents, at work, or at my house. I know I am naive, but I think she is removing herself from him. It helps she doesn't have a choice with the Corona scare. Hell, she bartends once a week down the road and that is where she met the OM...the place closed its doors a few days ago and said they don't know if they can open again (they were struggling financially before the Corona scar).
I guess what I am saying is, I know my W. She is so stubborn, defensive and builds walls anytime there is a problem. Yesterday, she took a few bricks down. But that doesn't mean my wall is coming down. But she is definitely beginning to change.
