I heard through the grapevine, someone may have details on my wifes affair , the EA she had. Would it be wise to seek out this information or just let it go? These two are not friends anymore, as they parted ways about 2 years ago after a work related indifference..
Do you feel you need details of her EA? If so, why? Are you trying to find out if it was really a PA, and if so, would it matter to you now, or change what you are currently doing? In other words, would you be able to let her go, or would it only serve to hurt you more?
I'm sure that many betrayed spouses disagree with me about needing to know all the details of their wayward spouse's affair, but when it comes to intimate details.......I think too much information about them having sex can be damaging. How do you unsee that picture in your brain? Every time you started to have sex with your spouse, guess what picture would pop up in your brain? I could understand wanting to know if she lied about her whereabouts, or something of that nature, if deciding to reconcile or go separate ways.....or for your own peace of mind, if knowing will bring peace of mind. I'm just not in favor of sharing information about their favorite sexual positions, or what all they tried. Know what I mean? Of course, you say your W had an EA, so I guess they didn't have skin on skin sex. Which leads my back to the question of why do you need to hear the details?
Is this ex-friend of your W's a woman? She may be more than willing to spill the tea on your W, but I tell LBH's not to trust a female friend....nor a female ex-friend of his WW. Since this friend may have an ax to grind, how would you know what to believe? I suggest you think long & hard before discussing your W's activities with a previous co-worker.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
