Originally Posted by sandi2 If the D should come about, how do you picture the relation with her? Would you continue to do the things you currently do (or want to do), or would you change? If so, how would that R look?
Do you mean, as far as GAL? Getting/staying in shape, doing the things I enjoy, and improving myself?
No, I just mean how would you interact and/or what kind of tone would the R have from your side of the street, so to speak. Would you do as much for her, as you do while M to her? Other than child support, would give her financial assistance? Would you be available whenever she wanted you to do something for her? Would you text her, checking to see how she is? Would you respond when she texts something funny? If she was dating, or if she were to remarry, would you do anything differently than you are currently doing......where she is concerned? I don't mean as the mother of your child, but in your personal relationship with her. Is there anything that would cause you to draw a line in the sand?
I'm not trying to be contentious, so please bear with me as I ask these questions.......as is my way of getting to know you and your sitch better.
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Faith and commitment to my vows is a big thing for me, and for me, the vows we took are the marriage, not a piece of paper from the government. So, in a way, for me, a legal D doesn't put an end to my vows. So, I don't see myself going out and trying to date anyone or anything.
Unfortunately the law doesn't agree, as you know. What your wedding vows means to you won't determine what the law mandates. Will your vows keep you emotionally tied to a woman who legally divorces you?
I understand very well how unconditional love is often preached from the pulpit. And, as your Pastor said, it's how something is received by the other person, that makes the difference. Something I encourage you to think about, is how the H should respond to disrespect under his own roof. I'm not throwing shade to your faith, church, or Pastor. I just want to know what you believe is the appropriate response when a wife verbally, or otherwise, disrespects her H.
Does your W have justified reasons for divorcing you? Were you abusive, or involved in some type of illegal activity?
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I'm not sure how much our relationship would be that much different than it is now, unless she decides there's more to she wants it to be. Currently, it's pretty business like. 90%+ is strictly about our daughter and logistics of some sort.
Does she get all the benefits from being legally married to you, without the requirements or expectations of a loving, devoted wife? From an outsider's view, it appears that she does. Will you open your thoughts to the possibility that there is more than you've allowed yourself to consider......or believe about your W and why she wants this divorce?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
