Alison, in times of high stress I think those who choose "divide and conquer" often do well. I like that you and H have (perhaps non-verbally) taken on specific roles to handle and then are respecting one another to handle those roles. I can't imagine the stress your H is under, and I think it's great that he is for now trying to reign that energy in for good, and not lashing out.
You both have a lot on your plate, but perhaps that takes the microscope off of your sitch?
