I hope I didn't insult by stating I wanted success stories. I just wanted to know if marriages can make it through. Maybe the better question is can I make it through? Thank you for posting!
No insults taken on this side.
It’s perfectly natural to want to see and follow a success story. And yes we all come here wanting to save our marriages. In the unfortunate realm of MLC it takes a lot of time.
That being said, the LBS become a success story first. The M/R comes after, and is a bonus. You are the most important person in all this, and you will definitely make it through.
Originally Posted by Believe6
I know some may say this is not Dbing. So be it. I need it too for my own peace of mind and heart.
There is nothing wrong with being intimate. I am glad to see you not reading too much in to his initiating.
Sex is fun and bonding. Just keep things no pressure, and no expectations.
Most of us have a spouse deep within an affair. Sex is off the menu for many LBS due to our spouse’s affections are ensnared within an other; and if they are active elsewhere the chances of STD are greater. This doesn’t sound like your situation.
One of the rules of DBing is - Do more of what works and less of what doesn’t.
It’s ok to try something. Some things work, and some things don’t. For those that don’t, you can try again later. Much later usually. It’s a slow process. MLCers are on their own timeline.
Originally Posted by Believe6
It can be lonely as most of my friends don't know what it is like to be betrayed much less deal with someone in MLC.
Isn’t that the truth!
I had no idea, before BD, that this world existed. To my naive self a midlife crisis was when the guy buys a red Ferrari. I see people all around that have that Hollywood idea; not even a glimpse of the world that right in front of them.
It is a lonely journey (in the real world). Most people are happily ignorant and blissful unaware. And they want to keep it that way.
Here on our virtual land, we all have experienced betrayal and seen the unbelievable affects of MLC.
Your close friends and family probably will learn about MLC, to a certain point. They (maybe) haven’t walked in your shoes after all.
Our mostly solo journey grants many blessings. Empathy and compassion are among them. They extend well beyond our spouse.
If you can be kind to your spouse, even with all they’ve done, the guy that cut you off in traffic - yeah, whatever it doesn’t even matter. We so - don’t sweat the small stuff.
Have a great Sunday.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
