1st Anniversary of Limbo, Indecisive WAH (part 2)

[Pommy99]

Hey May , thanks for checking in!

So, separation week 1 complete. Have seen H every day except Weds. Him coming round, that is, I’ve not been to his new place. I can’t say I’ve been delighted to see him. So he’s witnessed that the MBR has changed, that the spare room is now my gym, that I have flowers in the house ( previously a no-go due to his allergies). He’s been a bit forlorn, trapped wfh in a house that’s not a home and no broadband/tv. His choice. H’s obsession/distraction is the gym. Now all gyms are closed . All the home gym stuff is with me :-) .

So we’ve been amicable all week and he has texted and called on numerous occasions. And I politely reply but not pursue. He has come round for something or other when he hasn’t needed to, dropped by to fill up the bird feeders etc.

Today we had a row. First up he came to collect the kids at 10 and I told them to be ready to leave as I didn’t want him in the house. He came in anyway, then announced he was just going to get himself a coffee before they left. I was like um, bye have a nice day,sorry coffee machine isn’t on at the moment. Later on, him and the kids turned up unannounced ( good job I wasn’t home with some new guy lol) . He waltzed in the house and started going through the kitchen cupboard. I said what do you think you are doing? He looked taken aback. He wanted fish sauce and genuinely believed that since he paid for half the house and bought half the shopping that he could do this. I explained that I was t questioning who had paid for what, but that this was not his home anymore , that he was effectively just the landlord. Could I come to his new rental anytime I please and search the cupboards? He sulked and went and sat in the car.

But this is a boundary I need to enforce. He didn’t want this home, he chose separaton and another house. His choice.

This week I’ve really been able to look at the last year from the outside in. I can now see how deceitful he was, how he permanently put “friendship” with OW above me and I really don’t like him and feel like he doesn’t deserve my generosity and kindness .

That said, he came round yesterday without his ring on and that hurt . It hurt more than I expected, but I still invited him in and said he could make coffee. he told me he’d had 2 job interviews and asked my opinion on what I thought. Today he has his ring on but I was really unaccommodating and pushed him away. But I think I have demonstrated I’m not plan b., that he walked away and with that he loses his rights to the niceties and convenience of the house he once called home