Through The Storm III

[may22]

Hi KG,

Third unchien and yail's wisdom about not needing to explain yourself. I know that can be super uncomfortable. But try it.

I also know that it can be REALLY hard to move to no explanation cold turkey. Easier on the phone or on text than in person because you can make faces or whatever-- sometimes it helps to let that discomfort really show and makes it easier to live with. Also, if it is too hard to go straight to No thank you and just repeating no, maybe as a temporary crutch to help you get there, you could come up with something you can say around it, like "I've thought about it a lot, and I want you to know I really appreciate you asking (or whatever-- give some love back their way) but my answer is no." and when she presses, "I'm really sorry, but I need to do this for myself" "It isn't healthy for me right now" or something along those lines.

I have read that it can be very difficult to face temptation multiple times, each time wears away at you. That dieters who say no to a dessert once are more likely to say yes the second time because they used up all their willpower the first time. I'm sure it must be so difficult to keep saying no to your W when she says what you want to hear, but maybe there are other ways you can help yourself to maintain that willpower. Write out reasons why. Make a commitment to a third party that you have to report to. Recognize how hard it is and give yourself a little reward when you do say no.

Hope you are doing well in all this craziness. xx