Are you aware that your WW controls this relationship? She is in an affair, and it appears that all you want is to have her back home again.......and maybe you're trying to convince yourself that she's not seeing the OM. The pitiful thing is that you know if she isn't seeing OM, it's due to the health crisis. So, yes, she is very much in control. All WW's are in control of the MR, until the LBH decides he is going to change the dynamics, and will not go back to how things use to be. The other posters have been giving you good advice, but you can't grasp it b/c you are too worried that you won't get her back.
I want you to start thinking differently, b/c you are waaaaaay too eager to take her back, and I don't think you really understand what you'll be getting, should she decide to stay. If that's the case, then you need to do a lot of work on your self respect.
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Yesterday, my W came by with my D and they stayed for an hour or two while we all hung out in the backyard. I didn't talk about us, the future, the OM, or anything like that. Being around each other is new to me while DB'ing so I'm not sure how to do it. I just focused on logistics and the craziness with the Corona stuff.
My W is the one who reached out to me saying she heard they are requiring everyone to stay home sometime this weekend, bought a bunch of groceries, and brought them over. She said she will have to move in if that happens.
Here's an example of what I mean about changing how you think. IMHO, she didn't reach out to you. (At lease, I'm not seeing it.) She told you what she'd do. Did she ask how you felt about her moving back? Were any conditions discussed?
I'm not suggesting you throw her out during a health crisis, but I just want you to start seeing with better vision.
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If she moves in, I need to treat her like a roommate, right? Be kind, but not loving, supportive, but not overly helpful?
Kind? Supportive? Okay, but knowing how nice-guys are, those lines are going to become quite blurry for you. How about......civil? Actually, I prefer a different analogy than the roommate. I think you need to picture her as being an old lady who owes you for room/board. A lying, cheating, old lady.
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She still hasn't processed any of the A with me but somehow I feel like this is a step in the right direction.
Well no.......b/c she doesn't see this as reconciliation. Did you think it was? ((hugs))
KTO, many LBH's are so focused on their WW just physically moving back home, that they don't stop to consider she hasn't changed a thing except her address. She's still wayward.
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Trying to DB in this crazy health scare isn't anything anyone has done before.
Maybe not, but there is nothing new under the sun. In other words, you wouldn't be the first H to deal with a WW under his own roof.
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I swear things happen for a reason and it's lining up that my W has to move in, can't see the OM, and forced to be a family. Am I wrong?
Why would you even want a woman who has to be forced into being a family? Something is terribly wrong with this picture. Please don't sell yourself this idea that once she's back under your roof, everything will ease back to normal. I'm not saying your M can't be saved. I'm just saying it requires much more than spending part of weekend together.
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She's coming back today with my daughter to hangout. Social distancing has made it impossible to hangout with others, easily and we agreed we are in the same social bubble.
Look at your quote ^^^^ through different eyes. What does it say?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
