I haven't read your whole sitch. Usually, "No", because focusing on your ex doesn't help you detach.
It may be different if you'd change your actions based on what you learned--e.g., if crossing some line were a firm deal-breaker. More often I see people here convince themselves they need to find out because it would be a deal-breaker, then they backtrack, and all they've done is shoot themselves in the foot.
