Got on here to rant because I’m feeling angry and having a hard time keeping it to myself.
One of the main reasons H told me we need to separate was because of his new feelings on kids. When we got married, before we got married, we always said we would have multiple kids and were both enthusiastic about one day being parents. H was ready for kids after 1 year of M, I delayed it due to career reasons which he seemed understanding of at the time. When I finally got pregnant with our daughter, following a few years of fertility struggles and a loss, H wasn’t happy because he felt I had called the shot about when we got pregnant. He wasn’t excited about the baby and made me feel like trash. You hear stories of most H being happy and supportive and catering to their W’s food cravings, but H didn’t want to talk about the baby or pregnancy in general. Even when we watched TV if he saw a pregnant woman, he’d change the channel. In a few months, he became more accepting of the pregnancy but told me he “didn’t want to go through this again” and so now only wanted one child. He also told me he would take permanent measures to only ensure he had one child as well.
So now, he is head over heels with our daughter but of course still says he only wants one child ( and now is planning on leaving me anyway). One of my siblings just announced another pregnancy which is causing him to keep mentioning how he only wants one child and I just felt triggered. I’m so angry that he tainted my pregnancy experience and now wants to leave me. This is the same man who was pushing me to seek fertility treatment a few years ago and was ecstatic with my first pregnancy (which we lost).
I’m angry that he’s such a different person from who I married. I don’t want him to alter my life negatively any more than he’s done already. I’m not sure where the sweet, fun man I married went.
