It really doesn't matter what type of personality that they had pre-crisis. What triggers the crisis and what their childhood issues are. Crisis people have poor coping skills and didn't navigate their early 20's, 30's and even 40's very well and when they don't navigate them well, the major MLC will come around and take over their lives in a major way. A MLC doesn't just happen to married people, it can happen to anyone any where and all walks of life because those individuals were emotionally stunted at a young age by someone in authority. Try to remember that this crisis goes back to a time when she was a young girl and you weren't around to know what happened to her. When the crisis was beginning 18-24 months pre-crisis, the MLC was bubbling under the surface and eventually everything hit the fan. There was nothing you could do to stop it. She needs to go through the entire crisis. If you attempt to pull her back into the real world and she returns to her old self, I can assure you, she will go back into crisis at a later date and it will be far worse than what you are witnessing now.
So, how long does it take? It will take as long as it takes and you are on her clock now, which is slow. She is the one that is driving the bus while she is in crisis. She needs to come to terms w/whatever happened long ago and accept that she was not at fault for what happened, i.e, not good enough in grades, activities, sibling rivalry or abuse. Some will complete their journey and come out the other side more mature and more like themselves pre-crisis, others will return to earth and bring along some of their behaviors from crisis time and then there are others, who remain stuck. No one knows which ones return whole or which ones will remain stuck.
Bottom line, dig deeper for patience and keep the focus on you. You have your own journey to make, i.e., to rediscover Goonies. Leave her to her crisis.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
