IC, your convo with XW sure does seem very passive/ aggressive. A slightly different response probably would have changed the entire course of the convo.
Originally Posted by IHCLACS
XW: Please make sure you wash your hands, especially after changing S2's diapers today. It will help him to not have this reoccur.
XH: I have. I do. Maybe you should stop mothering me! I have been but thank you for the reminder, really can't be careful enough these days.
My XW says the exact same type of things and you know how I respond? Exactly like the above, and that's pretty much the end of the convo. It completely eliminates all of the below.
Quote
XW: Maybe you should stop being gross and start washing your hands. [quote] XH: Make sure to mention that with your therapist they might be able to help you with that.
XW: Good call!
XH: I don't know WTF you are talking about and I don't have time for bull$hit. So rest assured I am an adult. I am wasing my hands. S2 is in good hands we are having fun and every hand/surface is Chloroxed, and being bleached.
XH: 😆 😁 HAVE A NICE DAY!
XW: I would tell you to have a nice day, but you will probably have a $hitty day,… pun intended💩💩💩 😷😳
XH:Ooohh.. Chocolatte bon bons. Thanks you shouldn't have...
XH: Got me some N95 masks too. $hit is selling like hotcakes.
XW: Ewww
XH: Ill save you some of S2's patee with some crackers later. 😝
XW: 🤢🤮
XH: All kidding aside. I understand your concerns and fears with pathogens and stuff with this Corona Virus and other stuff going around. I do wash my hands religiously whether you want to believe and trust in that or not. Just because I took a moment to use a wipe to clean butt cream ointment off my finger after changing S2 this morning doesn't mean I didn't wash my hands right after. You watched me wash them! I'm not going to leave him unattended on the table. I suit him up. Then wash my hands. I always do after a diaper change. So I don't know what you are talking about? Just because I don't do something when you expect me to doesn't mean I don't do it.
I understand you have a lot of fears that don't stack up with my reality and that's fine. Maybe therapy can help with that. I really don't take it too personally. But I would appreciate if you would stop sending me these type of bull$hit motherly fearful reminder texts to do XYZ when its a given of what I do as a parent, and put trust in that S2 is in good, secure, and capable hands. I know your concern is him first so I don't take it personal. My apartment and my habits are way cleaner than yours. Hello! Your talking to Mr. Compulsive Neat Freak here! But the frequency of these type of reminders need to stop. It would mean a lot to me and I would really appreciate it if you can work on that, work through you're assumed fears and develop some trust.
XH: What I'm trying to say is. Its not how an ex treats another ex and not how a friend treats another friend.
XW: Point taken
XW: How is S2?
XH:He's great! He's playing were having lots of laughs. Eating blueberries and crackers. And he's even helping me mop the floor
I mean why create trouble with XW if you don't have to? Maybe you've got some unspoken need to "get back at her" or "put her in her place". But I just see it as unnecessary conflict.
