Is there much similarity between a WW and WAW, in their behaviours and the way the LBH should respond?
Well, you may be tired of hearing from me. These differences are described in my first WW thread, "Help for the newcomer LBH with a WW".
Here's the short version. The main differences, IMHO, can be found in her mindset. The WW has a hidden agenda (like pursuing a love affair). She can be described as having a sense of entitlement, rebellious, deceitful, disrespectful, lies when the truth would serve her better, manipulates, filled with anger/resentment, and has a cold & hardened heart, etc. etc. Put all this on steroids, and you start getting the picture.
The WAW may have just given up on the MR, or she may have a valid excuse to leave. However, she's not involved in an EA/PA/IA. She actually cares about the welfare of her children, and will make them a priority, rather than herself. She isn't out to do harm to her H.........but she is done with their M.
MWD does not separate the two in her book, Divorce Remedy. Except for a couple of things I disagree with (if she's a wayward W) the same approach can be used. The H's approach to a wayward W, is a tougher version. I explain why in the WW threads, but again, I'll try to give a shorter answer. The basic problem is the WW has lost respect and attraction for her H. The only thing she respects is strength. Therefore, he has to start there......commanding (not demanding )respect The LBH could work himself into the grave, trying to fix all her complaints about him.......and her feelings still wouldn't change. That's b/c she wasn't seeing any b@lls! He has to stop his NGS and learn how to set effective boundaries, and backup his word.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
