Consequences of Infidelity and Divorce

[rooskers]

Thank you for your words everyone. Letting go of the fear is currently my biggest obstacle. I thought once the divorce was finalized last summer I wouldn't have to worry about all the stuff she wants to go back to court for. I told myself after she signed the papers, "you have a house, job, emergency savings, daughter who loves you, and your health, so you have nothing to fear." Since the divorce I have been gradually piecing a new life back together with D14 and even with the ups and downs we have grown so much closer which I didn't even think was possible. Before I got served papers both D14 and I were even daring to dream of our new life and how great we could make it. We can still dream but it is so difficult with the possible reopening of the divorce decree. I have always been pretty rock solid in my beliefs and through this journey I have learned that they have and will serve me well. Through out this whole process I have never attacked, threatened, or begged my XW. She wanted to go and I said "ok" and watched her leave. It broke my heart but I knew she had to go through whatever it was she needed to without me. I just wish she would leave me alone. She wanted to leave so I didn't stop her, she wanted me to raise D14 so I am, she wanted me to never contact her in person so I haven't, she wanted me to let her go so I did, she wanted me to move on so I am, but the more I do these things the more hostile she becomes.

Focus on you and your kids. Let go XW. Let go the fear. Discover you and your beliefs. Strengthen the beliefs you desire, alter or discard those that do not serve you. Live those beliefs. Physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual paths do align. One can heal and live in peace and gentle happiness.

This is very similar to the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year and the closer I reach them the angrier XW seems to become and the more she wants to hurt me and D14.