It’s not uncommon for newbies to think what they are advised is just more of the same behavior. If you were just going through marriage troubles you would be advised to pursue her and open up more. Right now your marriage is in crisis mode. Your wife has filed for divorce. That’s a strong action on her part. Something she has thought about most likely for many years. The goal is to give her time and space to think about things without pressure. This also will give you the opportunity to detach from her which will make the transition to divorce easier if she follows through with it.
Certainly if you feel starting conversations with her is making her second guess herself then absolutely continue to do so as you see fit.
