Pax, I think it is very nice of you to think of your ex in times like this. I pray for you that you will stay healthy and safe through this crisis.
OwnIt, what you wrote reminds me of something that I read recently about recalling memories.
What I read was something like this....(translated)
Mesmerizing moments are fleeting. Painful moments seem to last forever. At the same time, mesmerizing moments are infinite. They are infinite because they are often immortalized. We recall the good moments over and over again, and in the process we add a little here and there, making it as grand as complicated as ever, like a maze that we cannot get out of. On the other hand, we avoid recalling the painful moments like the plague. Even if the moments pop into our minds surreptitiously, we'd do anything to run away from it. If we cannot outrun it, we eventually chose to forget it, simplify it, and turn it into a smoke, where we can blow on it, and it will disappear.
We must forgive to move forward with our lives, but most likely we won't be able to forget. When you say that you try to remember the hurt and the pain, it makes me think about how I will remember my current hurt and pain. not agreeing or disagreeing with you, just that you got me thinking.
