Choosing to love her is respecting her wish for distance. Not buying her presents against her wishes which make her feel uncomfortable. You are doing what you want, not what she wants in regards to showing her love.
Is it loving to do what she doesn’t want you to do?
Sometimes, yes. Love is not always doing what someone wants. Sometimes doing what they need is more important and loving.
That is a pretty constant thing with kids, and quite frequent with adults.
I have had reason to believe she was/is in a pretty dark place.
