Divorce and Acceptance part 5

[Pax_luv]

Hello DB land,
Hope you’re staying healthy out there. I’m not a clinician but I work in healthcare and it’s nuts. So bananas. It’s hard to wrap my brain around it.

It’s scary seeing common day human behavior play out and it makes me sad. Hard to say what will happen in the upcoming weeks. I hope we all check back into what it means to be civil and caring for fellow man.

So.... if I’m honest, I often have a little bit of compassion for my ex during this time of year. He has a big-big birthday coming up, a huge milestone in which he often placed his goals against... ie: “by the time I’m xx, I will (or will not).....”

Granted I know very little about his life, but I can’t imagine he’s where he wanted to be at this time and that might be troubling for him.

With huge milestones, my family goes all out and we would have done the same for him... we did for his last milestone bday 10 years ago. Given all the COVID precautions, I can’t imagine anything monumental going down. Even though he always said he hated his birthday, i knew he actually did like it... he just didn’t want to articulate it because it made him vulnerable. He actually would talk about how he hated anything sentimental... but In hindsight he never wanted to get hurt. Hence the constant cutting and running.

So given the big birthday, the Covid pandemic, and lousy weather.... I just can’t imagine him being in a good spot. Of course I’m making it up, but I always had a fear of him ending his life under these circumstances. He did talk about it before..... I would hope that he doesn’t and has progressed emotionally.

He just doesn’t seem stable to me (and this is just given my crazy divorce case)

Well, that’s all I got. I’ll wish him a happy birthday silently in my heart as a hope that he just has peace in his life. After all, he did f it up pretty badly.