I have told my W I'm setting boundaries because it's time to work on me. Basically, no contact unless it's for my daughter.
Originally Posted by kto626
The typical losing LBS playbook is to announce boundaries they have not thought through--then regret the damage they cause and look weak by failing to enforce them.
Originally Posted by kto626
Can I ask my W if she is still seeing the OM.
You announced a boundary two days ago--no talk EXCEPT about D. A day later you broke it, and two days later you're discussing breaking it again. Was the boundary a poor choice, or are you just struggling to find strength? Unfortunately, asking wouldn't yield much info, because your wife isn't trustworthy.
Originally Posted by kto626
How am I ever to know? That was my only demand to continue therapy with her; stop seeing him and work on yourself. I don't know if she would tell me.
You said your other "demand" was that she work on herself--has she? If she isn't clear she wants to work on the marriage, it may not be a good time for MC, even if she's no longer see this AP.
Originally Posted by kto626
I have to drive by her work and he was not there tonight
I suspect this isn't helping your detachment. Can you plan another route or distract yourself when driving by? Would it be possible to shift 10% of your focus from her and towards GAL activities?
