1st Anniversary of Limbo, Indecisive WAH (part 2)

[Pommy99]

Hi peeps, well pretty good week, aside from today. After the anger outburst I picked myself up and GAL’ed like a badass ! Out on my bike before work, gym after work, lunch with a friend, night out with girl friends, really haven’t given H any time or attention, just been incredibly upbeat and relaxed and it has felt good.

He moves out tomorrow and I haven’t given it much thought. I think I have subconsciously felt relief. We are acting like nothing more than business colleagues right now. He’s no longer in the MBR. He accidentally brushed my arm this week and retracted like he’d touched something really offensive. I thought of Wayfarer’s similar experience and laughed to myself! Sadly, however, I cannot even imagine us being close again, or ever being able to create M v2. I did consider how I would feel if he turned round this week and said he didn’t want to leave after all. And I genuinely felt that I would not want him to stay right now. That we need this time apart, and maybe it will be forever. And this week I have felt ok with that. Until today.

Due to Covid he was unable to travel for work, or for the next 2 weeks. So he has been wfh all week and I have avoided wfh myself. (I can’t quite believe that I spent all of last year wanting him to be home for, say, 2-3 weeks without travel, so we could have some prolonged time together, instead of him going away every single week. And he would never do it.) Now he is forced to wfh and because he doesn’t get his broadband until 23rd he’s actually asked me if he can work from the house all next week. I’ve pretty much said no. He still thinks he’s entitled to as he feels it’s his home too. I said, no, you have a stake in ownership but after tomorrow it is not your home.

In the same mindset, he was planning to only move the stuff he needs right now, and leave all the stuff he doesn’t want (books, CDs, paperwork, etc) until another time. Again I have said no, you’re moving out, you take all your stuff. He told me I was being unreasonable.

Maybe I was being harsh and reactive. It culminated in me crying my eyes out in the bathroom. I haven’t cried since Sunday. I guess it will feel worse over the weekend.

So I feel the right thing to do is not let him work from the house next week, but at the same time, it’s a time when we should be helping others in any way we can. What do you guys think? I know the house is cheaper and more convenient than his other options, which is why it’s an easy option for him, but I do want him to have to start living with the choices he’s made.