Well, GAL is going to be odd. Coronavirus cases popped up around me and recommendations are to limit non essential trips out the house. D4 and I are sick and have hopefully just a cold. Lots of time all together in this small place.
I'm still conflicted on the course of action I take here for myself. Interact with W or pull away? No matter how much GAL I do, we are in each others presence several times a day. My place is smaller than many apartments. Theres no use in us making separate meals or one person spending and going out everyday. Maybe I'm again avoiding what I need to do? Thing is, we are slowly getting more decent with each other. Sans physical contact missing, we're seeming back to where we were a few months before BD. So by what Michelle says, I dont know if me changing and conversing more helped and to keep it up or if we are just becoming friends.
On one end, I think becoming friends is good. We could build off that or at least be decent coparents. Anyone end up as friends then make it work? I of course prefer an alternative and dont want to be a friend or a plan b for long if thats the case.
Ok I'm working with just under 1200 sq ft. With 4 humans the size of adults. Both my girls are taller than me. We've manged to make it work even during the worst of times. We kinda set up zones. I was in the MBR and he was in the living room the girls would come and go as they pleased. I would only be in the living room if the kids were in there. He would only come in the MBR with permission or if I wasn't in there at all. But we were good at physical boundaries. I have crappy weather where I live so we were stuck in the house together probably more than some of the vets on here would've approved of. I'm also naturally a homebody so my GALing wasn't constantly going out. A lot of it was reclaiming space in my own home since we were all walking on egg shells around H for a while. You can maintain space and physical boundaries in a small space.
I always made dinner for 4. I wasn't like making him a plate. I wasn't packing left overs for lunch. I wouldn't even tell him dinner was ready to be honest. When things were really, really bad he wouldn't even eat my food. Conversely when H and I were barely speaking still but he wasn't hostile any more we were (and are currently) taking turns making dinner and doing laundry together on Sunday nights. Every single rule laid out for you by vets on here you don't have to follow if they don't work for your sitch, BUT and this is a big but, you have to figure out the line between doing something because it's convenient and you won't inconvenience yourself just to have the upper hand and appeasement. It can be a thin line sometimes. Sometimes it's broad. It's all a matter of what's working in your house and for you specifically. Wooba and May22 and I talk about that a bit on I think wooba's thread some where.
As far interacting with W, IMHO if W interacts with you interact with her. But I wouldn't seek out interaction, even if things are getting less tense. Things might be getting less tense because you're ignoring her and she's chasing you just a little bit. Maybe it is the changes you're making. Or maybe it's just time passing and she's starting to soften. Just pay attention to when she wants to be friendly, decide from there.
I got nothing on the friends thing. You've seen my thread. I have no idea if it helps or hurts. I think it helps sometimes; I think it hurts sometimes; but every sitch is so different. You gotta just do what works for you.
