I get so angry that we both have such messed up pasts that have interfered with our marriage.
That is all of us. Channel that anger into fixing you. Focus on your personal growth. You spouse is a mirror reflecting things back to you.
Let go of the need to control him. Let go of the need to argue with him. Love him now that you see all his flaws.
I have heard "I hate you dad" and seen the burning anger in each of my children's eyes. I have responded with something similar to this "Yes, I can see that, and it is OK. I still love you". Works with spouses as well.
It is the way they feel. Our job is to understand that with compassion and understanding. Might be really hard to wrap your mind around.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
