I have just read through another one of your posts and I think you are right we sort of have a similar situation. I sometimes wonder who exactly my husband is... I wonder if it's me being abusive or him or both. I've never hit him and he is never had me but we have sure said some completely awful things to each other and streamed in each other's faces and throwing things at the wall that doesn't happen often but it has happened in when it gets dirty it gets dirty.
You mentioned in your other post that your wife stonewalled you for several months and that is exactly what I have been through and it is the one thing they can make me a nasty person is someone that pretends that I do not exist and someone that doesn't validate how I feel even when I tell them that what they are doing hurts they decide to do it more.
I also wonder if your wife would ever be someone to be on a forum like this? The fact that she wrote a letter about you one time signals that she at least has some sort of introspection even if it's blaming you. On my end my husband would not be caught dead on a site like this he wouldn't have Enough care to be exploring these sites. He just seems like he has an amazing ability to shut down and completely tune everything out. Sometimes I wonder when he tells me that he does care and that he does think about certain things if it's really just an act because he certainly does not show it and I've never caught him trying to look up ways to better us or himself... it's always been me.
