I'm working on giving up the control - I feel like I had improved and reverted when we were living together and trying to reconcile. I may have some lingering issues. It's something I'm working on. It's not blatant control (ie: telling someone what they can and cannot do) but the subconscious control that I struggle with. (ie: walking on eggshells, trying to give comfort or advice when I should just listen) Forgiving myself is tough stuff. I hadn't thought of it that way, but I guess I do feel guilty or like a failure with the thought of my marriage failing/divorce.
Completely biased personal opinion ~ the first step to forgiving yourself is getting over feeling like a "bad" person (guilt, shame, feeling like a failure).
