Not paying for enough things, even though I used the credit card she told me to use. Using my phone too much, even though she was on hers about 3 times as much. Not "jumping" to pay for my mom when we went out to dinner, even though she told me, every single time, before we got to the restaurant that we were paying (and what card to use). Her insisting on always doing certain things, refusing help, and then being angry that I didn't know she wanted me to (and of course, angry if I did do something, but did it my way)
I am seeing a dynamic in this list that might be an opportunity to 180 on. I see a lot of justification for your actions. I know, because I am a "justifier" too. However, when someone give you their reality "You are on the phone too much", learn from it. Regardless of how flawed the messenger themselves might be! You can become a better person based on their observation even if they are just as guilty. It is like the old question, would you rather be happy or right?
So when someone says: "You are on your phone too much." Instead of saying: "So are you!" Saying: "Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I will try to work on that." Goes a lot longer.
Now maybe you are just justifying these complaints to us, and you didn't do it to her. I can only react to what you type on this forum.
She doesn't bring it up anymore. I did defend myself at the time...but also set out to do better afterwards. Now, my phone is often in the other room and she is going away on her phone. There have been a few times where I just stopped and stared at her to see when she'd notice.
She said she, "let go of a lot of cares."
She's always been one to criticize others for doing something, and when she got caught doing the same thing, she would laugh it off like no big deal (which it usually was, she just didn't feel that way about others doing it). That aspect of her just got cranked up to 11. Even to the point where she was complaining about clothes being donated to charity because they weren't up to her standards (cleary not letting go of cares like she thought).
