Needing to pull a last resort

[SteveLW]

Not paying for enough things, even though I used the credit card she told me to use.
Using my phone too much, even though she was on hers about 3 times as much.
Not "jumping" to pay for my mom when we went out to dinner, even though she told me, every single time, before we got to the restaurant that we were paying (and what card to use).
Her insisting on always doing certain things, refusing help, and then being angry that I didn't know she wanted me to (and of course, angry if I did do something, but did it my way)

I am seeing a dynamic in this list that might be an opportunity to 180 on. I see a lot of justification for your actions. I know, because I am a "justifier" too. However, when someone give you their reality "You are on the phone too much", learn from it. Regardless of how flawed the messenger themselves might be! You can become a better person based on their observation even if they are just as guilty. It is like the old question, would you rather be happy or right?

So when someone says: "You are on your phone too much." Instead of saying: "So are you!" Saying: "Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I will try to work on that." Goes a lot longer.

Now maybe you are just justifying these complaints to us, and you didn't do it to her. I can only react to what you type on this forum.