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[CanBird]

Thank you DnJ. Seeing that I can't sleep, I'll be posting. Venting will do me good.

So many emotions. 00 says he'll be here 10 days. He told me his plans after here. Do I believe him? Part of me does. He suggested D3 go with him, they'd visit his family & I'd get alone time. MIL could bring her back... My instints say no. Too much for me. Why didn't he suggest & do that last month? That would have been better for me. But it's not about me. Am I wrong here?

I would LOVE to blast him. OH do I ever! I am holding back & trying to be on my best behavior. Snd yes, no matter what, D3 and I will be okay.

[DnJ]

H taking D3 for a visit. I’d go with - no.

Listen to your instincts. And your mind.

H just got back. He is in no shape to care for a three year old girl. Especially a last minute plan.

Stand your ground on this.

DnJ

[peacetoday]

Hi Can

This is tough..

I would also say No to D3 going anywhere right now with him other than a nearby playground


thougths?
Can this man really be trusted on a trip away from the home with D3

I am an over protective mom and have always been, but I am more than grateful my MLCer xh did not have my children overnights ever ..then ages 5 and 11

He was living with unstable OW and lying constantly, living a double life and unsafe parent
using drugs and alcohol
.

Follow your heart on this one..

[job]

I have to agree with DnJ and peace...no to him taking D3 on a trip at the moment. He is not in the right frame of mind to do so...and who is to say that he doesn't want someone else to meet his daughter? Absolutely not!

[Westo]

I agree too.

All my maternal instincts (what I have left with the menopause) are screening no, no no!

You can’t trust him right now, deffo stand your ground.

You are doing brilliantly, I’d probably have decked him.

They can be so cruel and selfish. Nothing matters to him at this moment and the foreseeable future but what HE wants.

[OwnIt]

I would use this as an opportunity to educate him and let him experience the consequences of his actions long-term, rather than shutting him down.

I would just say given that he has been away much of her life and she is very young, that you would prefer that the initial solo visits with him be shorter and nearby in case there are issues and that as she ages and you see how she handles things, that you could discuss lengthening those times.

[CanBird]

~J~ 00 had things to do today, mainly go to DMV. I had to work & was planning on taking D3 with me. She wanted to be with her dad, and so he was in charge for the day.

I had a few good chats. Well, more like venting sessions. Not sure what to do now. I've stayed away from the house most of the day. I miss my girl. It's been a long day already & I'm tired. Didn't sleep well last night.

Struggling again that 00 gets to up and leave the state , leaves his daughter & does whatever he pleases. He works in a different state, so really he can live anywhere he wants. 00 Vagabond. Literally. Happily reunited with the xgf. Ugh.. makes me sick. They are skipping around having the times if their lives while I'm sinking. I have my little girl which helps me smile & feel loved. I wonder when I'll find love again?

I agree with everyone that posted last, regarding 00 taking a trip with D3. Definitely no. I will voice my feelings & go with my gutt. He can spend time with her here until he leaves. He stayed here last night. I do not miss the snoring. I'm assuming he'lk stay here until he goes. It doesn't bother me. He's just a roommate. Friendly cashier. He's being SO nice via text ugh...makes me sick. I see through those manipulative words.

Well, I guess I should GAL before they return, but I'm So exhausted. Might be a hazard to drive. Seriously. Hey,....sunset is within walking distance. Perfect!

[cardinal]

The sunset is within walking distance—this seems to me like a metaphor, Can. Something beautiful is always just around the corner, just within walking distance, if you pay attention, if you are open to it, and you always are. H and the ex are not living real life right now. I doubt they will be skipping around happily in the long run. In the meantime, there is the beautiful sunset. Here, I walked outside and found the brightest, fullest moon. Hang in there, Can! You are doing great.

[CanBird]

The sunset is within walking distance—this seems to me like a metaphor, Can. Something beautiful is always just around the corner, just within walking distance, if you pay attention, if you are open to it, and you always are. H and the ex are not living real life right now. I doubt they will be skipping around happily in the long run. In the meantime, there is the beautiful sunset. Here, I walked outside and found the brightest, fullest moon. Hang in there, Can! You are doing great.

cardinal you are so right. After reading this I ran out to see the full moon too. Really bright indeed! Thank you for your reply.

[CanBird]

~j~ 00 &D3 had a long day. I got a second wind before they got home and decided to workout. As a kindness, I text 00. He had text earlier as if he was his former H with a pic. We did text early while at work. 00 was short..curt. I didn't reply right away. Had to call 00 because it was easier & said I might not always reply right away because I'm at work.

Any way. As I drive away, 00 replied. I saw it; no resaon to reply back. In transit we passed eachother. That felt good. So did my workout.

When I got home 00 was on the phone to a coworker. He seemed so normal! Every time I asked D3 about their day he'd jump in excitedly to add funny details. It was really nice. Then 00 slip into focusing on his phone. Reading. Not texting. Also, not engadeging much with D3 as she watched a movie.

I took care of my evening needs, & he did step up & care for D3s needs. Once us girls were ready to do bedtime routine we got up to do so, leaving to bathroom door ajar slightly. I could hear 00 get up quickly from the sofa like he was on fire! He grabbed keys & bolted out the door. Was a phone coming in? Was he walking/running/driving somewhere? Did an Uber come? I think he was in contact with ow for sure. We carried on. D3 was upset that 00 wasn't there. She had also left a favorite stuffy in the car so we had get it from the garage. 00 was nowhere. 2nd vehicle was there. I wasn't sure where he got to in a hurry.

At first I was mad that his abrupt leaving had D3 upset. I almost text him. I ignored his behavior and before you knew it he returned. Gone maybe 30-45 mins? Us girls were inbed. He also went right to bed. Long day with a kiddo! Ha! I'm hoping for round two tomorrow.

I felt pretty good and slept finally! Going back to sleep before my alarm goes off.

Looking forward to making today the best it can be.