Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, SamCal. I do identify with this.
Originally Posted by SamCal
Me trying to be more compassionate has helped me understand how my words or actions may affect people in ways that I don't see or think about. The self-reflection part on how I was acting was really difficult, and I was vocal about how I understood I was treating him that way, but my treatment wasn't lining up with how I felt inside because I did love/respect/value him.
In my case, I did desire my H and tell him that, but my actions didn't line up with how I felt inside, and that must have really hurt him. I feel like I've come more and more to a place where I can really empathize with what my H shared at BD, even if it was an exaggerated, spewing, negative version of everything. I just have to remember to empathize with myself too!
Originally Posted by SamCal
I feel good about things b/c I can see he is more emotionally equipped to talk to me about stuff if he is unhappy with something, and has a better understanding of what treatment is and is not OK with him, and how to effectively vocalize that.
This is encouraging and would be something my H really needs to do for his own growth. I know I would be better equipped to hear him and respond now. I'm so glad your H has done this work.
Originally Posted by SamCal
We are both working towards making an emotionally safe environment for each other - that's how we connected and fell in love in the first place.
This is lovely. I wish you all the best on this part of the journey!
