I don’t think I’ve DBed enough. I need to reread validation thread again. I was worked up, I was crying because it hurt me so much to watch him just being so crazy and nonsensical. Most of the time I just tried to keep my mouth shut. I knew whatever I said, he wouldn’t be registering. But at one point after he kept going on and on about how all the fault is on me for giving up on this M... I did raise my voice and said, “You were the one who left! You left us!!”
Right now I feel like I don’t even want to stand anymore. I don’t want to be subject to this anymore. maybe D is what is good for all of us at this point....
Just to be very very clear DBing is not intended for addicts or those with sever mental health issues. It's pretty clear about those extenuating circumstances. The only reason I would suggest you stay the course with the DBing to stop escalating the situation. Because that's what he wants. That heightened emotion makes them feel something. And feeding into it keeps them from chasing their tails and eventually giving up.
If you want to give up, you give up. I'm not saying you must. There are women who stay through the AODA issues or mental health issues. And god love them both. But if that's not you, that's not you and it doesn't have to be.
I'm not there with you to see for myself, but if he's not going to actively address his AODA issues and/or his unaddressed mental health issues you don't have a chance in h3ll of saving this. Even if he says he's all in. Because he never will be all in with him bringing in those two things right in the middle of your marriage.
