Needing to pull a last resort

[SteveLW]

This may be where I get confused, and maybe I read it (or rather the contrasting part) wrong:

But when you DO interact you are attentive, present, upbeat, and happy. Just do not be the one to start conversation, but when she does then fully engage.

Contrasted with advice on texting and then to avoid being around her at all made it seem like I should limit my engagement, even if she initiated.

Also, we do have a co-parenting plan in place already for when the divorce is final, but also, my wife has intimated that she doesn't expect me to leave the house after the divorce either, so what exactly she wants is not clear, at least not to me. Time for herself maybe (see my comment in the last post about thinking part of her thinking is to avoid responsibility for our kid half the time), but I'm certainly not prohibiting her from going out and doing anything she wants to do.

There are lots of things written in the links that cadet provided that explain a lot of this. I have to point out, that your thread title specifically references LRT. So that is the kind of advice you got. Related to how to do LRT. That means limiting your interaction with her. That means following the texting rules as outlined. But when you are around her then:

But when you DO interact you are attentive, present, upbeat, and happy. Just do not be the one to start conversation, but when she does then fully engage.

I am failing to see how that isn't pretty clear and straightforward.

As far as your coparenting plan, and what your W says. Remember, the WAS has a lot they are juggling. They want to get a D as easily as possible. With as little drama as possible. Without hurting you as much as is possible. And with as little guilt as possible. Are you really considering cohabitation with this women post D?! That sounds like the friend zone to me. Not something I'd be willing to settle for with my wife.

"I haven't seen a lot of talk about children on here"

You were the one accusing posters here of encouraging you to be an absentee father. -shrug-

As far as this:

"But, with work, and other things I have going on, I only get to see my daughter so much as it is, so I like to take advantage of those opportunities when I can. Sometimes (most of the time during the week) that means my wife will be there as well. But, that doesn't mean that my wife and I have a lot of interaction during that time. My attention is focused on my daughter."

This is a very difficult line to walk for most LBSs. Most LBSs, whether they admit it or not, use their children and spending time with them as an excuse to be around their WAS. I've seen it dozens of times on this forum. Here is the thing. Post D, you will see your daughter 50% of the time. So what does it hurt to start that now? No one would accuse you of being an absentee father if on Tuesday night, Thursday night, and all day Saturday, and every other Sunday (or even every other Saturday and Sunday) you spent all of that time with your daughter (regardless of what or where your soon-to-be EXW is). But on Monday night, Wednesday night, and Friday night, and every other Sunday you were off doing your own thing. Out GAL. Out working on you. Out getting away from the thickness of the atmosphere in and around your STBXW.

So yes you can be a present Dad....AND go out and take care of your own needs and do things for yourself. It is only contradictory if you make it that.