You will get lots of contradictory advise. What worked for some, did not work for others, and vise versa. Only you will be able to determine what works in your sitch. Evaluate all the advise, decide what you would like to implement, and make your changes. If W likes what she sees, she might have a change of heart.
Ultimately you should take a good hard look at yourself and decide if there are things you want to change about yourself.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712