Thanks wayfarer, I’m always glad to hear from you. you’ve dealt with this kind of crazy....so you know what I’m up against. So far I think the suicidal comments are both: serious mental issues and attempt to stir emotion/attention from me.
Gosh, this just happened. I was half way asleep and H came back and woke me up. He lay next to me and started rehashing Saturday and accusing me of rejecting him in a hurtful way.
H: it’s ok for you to say no, but you could’ve said something like “under the circumstances...you don’t feel comfort with it..” Me: I’m sorry you were hurt. But that IS what I said. H: no you didn’t. You gave a look and said “nah”. Me: I didn’t do that. I told you I was uncomfortable with it. H: you said it afterwards on Sunday! Me: we didn’t see you on Sunday. H- continued to paint me as the bad guy and said that our problem was already because of the lack of affection from me, and I’m making the matter worse. H: you know what the biggest problem is? That I can’t even trust you now. Because of what you did, I can’t trust that when I’m old and sick, you will be by my side. Me: ?????
Long story short.....he was hostile. He was packing some clothes to take with him as he’s talking but when he’s done he didn’t immediately leave. He kept standing there and asking me whether I want him to stay or go. He said that he’s here hoping for intimacy but he doesn’t think it’s gonna happen because I just don’t care. He stood there telling me that this is my chance to convince him to stay. I said, “it is your choice, I cannot convince you of anything.” I said, “what you want right now, I cannot give you. Having sex with me is not going to make you feel better. You need to see somebody.” And he exploded, “I don’t fcking need to see anybody! I’ve studied this!!!!”
Finally, I told him that he should go. He responded, “I tried. I will be typing up that divorce decree”
Repeat offenders: 1. Calling me Donald Trump (he must really hate me to do this) with alternative facts 2. I can go find my man 3. Saying sorry sarcastically that he didn’t bring me flowers and he’s not romantic enough (for some reason after BD he thought I said this is the reason why we were having intimacy issues????) 4. If I bring another man in this house with the boys without talking to him, he will get violent. 5. He wants to die
I don’t think I’ve DBed enough. I need to reread validation thread again. I was worked up, I was crying because it hurt me so much to watch him just being so crazy and nonsensical. Most of the time I just tried to keep my mouth shut. I knew whatever I said, he wouldn’t be registering. But at one point after he kept going on and on about how all the fault is on me for giving up on this M... I did raise my voice and said, “You were the one who left! You left us!!”
Right now I feel like I don’t even want to stand anymore. I don’t want to be subject to this anymore. maybe D is what is good for all of us at this point....
