It means he wanted us to communicate so resentment, anger, etc would go away. I thought he meant process this to be able get there. But you are right, she doesn't really process anything..
You have anger and resentment to work through? I guess that's natural when she's cheated on you and continues to cheat on you. I've let go of most of my anger and resentment in IC and have been "no contact" during the process. I truly don't see any benefits in expressing to her "I'm angry at you for xxx" or "I'm resentful at you for yyy". When I did that was attachment--a desire for her to finally get it and apologize and make it all better. But even when I was there I realized if she wasn't in a place to say "Omigosh! What have I been doing?! I'm going to work for it.." she also wasn't in a place to hear me! It'd just be another criticism to add to her pile, another point against reconciliation. If by some oddity we reconciled a third time, I'd set boundaries based on the past, even then I doubt I'd vent about it. Not much left to vent.
Originally Posted by kto626
But you are right, she doesn't really process anything and she still is giving me trickle truths and/or lies.
OIC. You meant you're focusing on her instead of you and want these sessions to fix her, and you're beginning to see the futility--she won't process and let go of anger and resentment until she's ready to. Right now she may want to keep it, so it's easier to lie to you and enjoy her affair partner.
