Needing to pull a last resort

[CaptainN]

I have to say, I'm a bit confused. Some of the information I hear seems contradictory.

Completely detach and have as little interaction as possible, but work on seducing?

And the "detach" I hear about here, in many respects sounds very different than the impression I got from reading DR.

It sounds like detachment in ways is somewhat akin to becoming kind of a childish jerk. Some of the behavior sounds less polite than I would give someone who I wanted nothing to do with and wished would just leave me alone.

I thought I was supposed to be about working on being the best me I can be, not becoming something I hate.

I get not pursuing, and being restrained, but *some* (some does not and seems more like the idea I got from DR) of this stuff sounds like the immature babble. No offense.

Maybe, I am just not clear on what is being suggested, but I don't want to become a somewhat absentee dad, who is rude and dismissive.