Knowing my situation and talking with my daughter everyday, therefore seeing/talking a little with my wife, what boundaries should I be setting?
Personal experience on this - whatever boundaries you try to enforce, the WW will try and push them... I'm sure many get a kick out of still trying to control / test you.
When Facetiming keep it about your daughter.. Unfortunetly your WW will be on the other end, so she will always have some control. If did reference this in my sitch - once my WW moved out, i facetimed my girls on a daily basis ( on the days they werent with me ) for the first couple of weeks... But soon realised that the WW was calling the shots on when we spoke, how long we spoke and that the WW was on the phone more than my girls - She was still trying to control me using Facetime - My solution was to just stop Facetiming. I can live without seeing my girls every day - I just make the most of the time when they are at mine.
As for boundaries - Your WW doesn't respect you. So its important to stick to boundaries that you can actually enforce. Its pointless having boundaries if you crumble in a day - that doesnt build respect and makes you look weak.
You also need to understand that having boundaries will probably annoy her / make it seem like you are pushing her futher away. - She is lost anyway, but your conscience will be telling you the exact opposite of what people write here. She will take, take take and cake eat whenever you allow her - you need to be strong.
In my sitch, my main boundary is minimal contact and only about the children. I refuse to allow her to step foot into my house - ever. This drives her insane. She is curious as to what i've done to the house and has even "insisted as the gilrs mother she should be allowed to check the house etc" - but i will never back down from this. - Re general chit chat - Checkout girl chat - A polite hi / bye for the sake of the children - Re all logistics about kids - text only. I totally ignore anything not child related. If the phone rings, i refuse to answer. This is usually a message - "answer your phone" - i never will and she knows this, but even 12 months later she trys to push my boundaries. You really need to understand this is a long term situation and you need to be strong - or she will chew you up.
Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..
Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
