Doing my thing and hope for the best

[oceangrl]

Thank you May. I really appreciate all your input. Thank god we don’t have firearms in the house anymore.

Well, H is still alive, fortunately. He came over tonight and told us that he’s scheduled another camping trip at the end of April.

Later after the kids has gone to bed, he sat down with me and began to tell me that he was hurt by me rejecting sex that day. I said, I appreciate you telling me this, and I understand how you feel. But under the current circumstances, I think that is not the best thing for either of us right now. And then he pretty much shut me down and didn’t want to hear what I had to say. And then he asked whether I’ve thought about the finances regarding D. I said yes, some. And then it was back to the same loop of him telling me what percentages of child support I’m getting etc. same old playbook. I said ok, I will think about it more.

And he wants me to cancel the appointment tomorrow with the psychiatrist.

So we are supposed to still be married by end of April and go on this camping trip together with his colleagues while he’s giving me time to think about D??? Just crazy.

I don’t wanna go on the roller coaster ride, but I feel like I inadvertently go on because he says suicidal stuff and makes me worried. I’m trying to figure out how to deal with that.

Oh wooba, I can relate to this so much. The roller coaster is just so hard. You are doing amazing in your detachment. I'm inspired by your progress. And You are right, he is just on planet crazy right now with this logic.

It sounds like whether he means to or not, he is really trying to emotionally manipulate you. You rejected him for sex, which hurts him so he rejects you by bringing up D and all the pain that that involves. And he wants to divorce you but have sex with you? One of the hardest things is the lack of logic and common sense we have to deal with. Honestly.

I'm sorry it's so hard right now. Its not easy dealing with this every day.