Chiming in here with some words of encouragement and support.
We all want to fix our R's. That's why we are all here - otherwise we wouldn't care, and we definitely would not be posting here in hopes of finding some glimmer of hope that we are doing the right thing.
2x4's are hard to hear sometimes. I have had quite a few in my year here. But as you've said, take the pieces of advice that work for your sit and use them. As may said - For you, and you only. Not in hopes of fixing your R.
A lot of us that have been in these situations for an extended period of time are exhausted, and tired, and on our last nerves. And life keeps throwing these thousand pound wrecking balls at us from every direction. It is difficult to know what to do in these times, especially when we are surrounded by tragedies and trying to figure out which fire to put out first.
Detachment from W is for you. It is to reduce the chaos in your life. It is to get you back on steady ground.
I know you feel it. I feel it in my own mind - for today for example, the chaos and obsessive thinking is really awful for whatever reason. However bad we have it, though, I think the WAS feels that times a hundred, so that's why it is so important to focus on yourself and yourself only right now.
Unfortunately you cannot help her. Fortunately, you can, however, do the best thing for her by letting her go figure out whatever it is she needs to figure out. And the matter of AP is irrelevant, it is merely a symptom of what she is going through. You cannot control that.
I know this is tough. Relationships are tough. Remember to be kind to yourself. For you. Remember to forgive yourself. For you.
Take this time for yourself. Cadets welcome post is very true. You have the gift of time now - to figure out what it is you want to do.
