He was a terrible H and I'm better off without him but the thought that haunts me is the part where he "might" be a better man for her or she will accept him as is whereas I didn't. I complained.
I do worry that this pain will never end.
Listen, you can "what if" yourself to death or you can try to think logically and realize that all of this is NOT just on you. Who cares if he acts like a better man for her. Your first line says it all.....he was a terrible H and you are better off without him. YOU SAID THAT!!!!!!! She will accept him but you didn't...you complained (again, your words). Honey, show me one single person on this planet who hasn't complained about something in their marriage and I will show you a liar. EVERYONE complains. You cannot blame his shortcomings on yourself. Clearly your children realize that he was a miserable person who made you miserable. Kml had a great point in that karma has a way of taking care of things and you shouldn't use your own narrative of how you think his life might be going in place of how it is actually going. Because the fact of the matter is that IT DOES NOT MATTER what he is thinking or doing. What matters is YOU. You are 2 separate people working on building 2 separate lives and honestly, if you want to get past all of this, you have to stop creating some romanticized version of what his "new" life is like in your head. The pain WILL end. It will just take time. Reach out to friends, spend time with your kids, practice self care. Sew, take a walk, read (if you like that sort of thing), find a new hobby you have always wanted to try...………...do whatever you can to take the focus off of him and put it squarely onto yourself. His life will be what it will be and you constantly second-guessing how that relationship is compared to how yours was with him is not helping you heal. It is just making you feel inadequate and the sad part of that is that you don't even know how much of the story you are projecting onto him is actually true.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
