Come on now, kas….you have to stop doing that to yourself. You are projecting what YOU think is happening onto his life and just dragging yourself down in the process. Stop worrying about it, thinking about it, focus on you and your kids. You have NO idea what he is thinking or what she is thinking so speculating on that is just stealing your own joy. You just mentioned your GAL as sewing and finding a great deal on a machine that should have some sentimental value, but yet you focus on the OW and your STBX.
Was out with D17 and she said "what is wrong you were fine 10 minutes ago". I said it's hard. She said he was boring, a horrible person and that he wasn't worth it to focus on my new sewing machine. I did well but then my mood dropped again and I think omg when does this stop??
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Remember that shiny and new things get dull over time and he is likely on his best behavior right now for her, but the new will wear off and at some point, she will get the same version of him you did.
He was a terrible H and I'm better off without him but the thought that haunts me is the part where he "might" be a better man for her or she will accept him as is whereas I didn't. I complained.
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You have the capacity to really recreate your self and your life here and really have a great experience with your kids.
The sewing machine I bought was similar to the one I taught myself how to sew on (it was my mom's). It's been 30 years but I remembered how it works. Today D17 is off on spring break and she made me a scrunchie with it. Went home for lunch and she's happy as a clam....sewing.
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And, yes, I know that is way easier said than done. You asked a few posts back and several responded that it really all does get better. I'm sure it doesn't seem like it in the moment, but everything will get back to normal for you. It will be a new, better normal and you and your kids will be happy. Don't rush it. Take the time to heal, but I can assure you it DOES get better. Time heals all wounds.
