Midlife wife crisis14

[Wolfman]

Hey Wolf,

You played football right? Me too, and I coached high school for 6 years. Blocking and tackling are the fundamentals, hustle between drills, always do the right thing - not the easy thing. Discipline, commitment, hard work...remember 2 a days? Remember how we always said football teaches life lessons? Well we forget to use them! We get too cute, too caught up in the wrong things. Positive mental attitude (PMA) is something I used to preach and live. I'm doing it again now.

I did play football, in college and semipro. That was one of the things football taught me, never quit. And I didnt for a long time. It was hard for me to let go of my dream of being a pro. So I guess you can say the same about my marriage. I believe football taught me you WILL get knocked down but I continued to get up. Even though I was hurting I would keep going because we always preached football was a family and you don’t give up on the guy next to you. I felt the same about my family don’t give up on them. But unfortunately it got to a point where it was out of my hands and I had to let go.

Point taken OB. Maybe I crossed the line with Wolf. I know my communication style isn’t for everyone. I just feel blowing sunshine up someone’s a$$ who has a victims mentality does a disservice to him and his children. I will be more conscientious in the future.

Please don’t blow sunshine up my butt. I don’t want that. I just didn’t need the insult. LH I read a lot of your link and you are an emotionally strong guy who seemed to move on “fairly quickly” or at least it seemed you handled it fairly well. I am not like that. I know I made tons of mistakes it doesn’t mean I’m not listening. I just struggled with a lot. People heal and move on at different rates. If we both broke our leg I bet we wouldn’t heal at the same time. I also bet that it’s possible one of us might not heal 100%. I just ask for patience and not to quit on me. As far as telling me things bluntly, that’s fine. Just not the name calling.

As a group of men supporting each other, I believe we are collectively trying to help each other change and grow.

This right here. I don’t feel like I can talk to any of my buddies. One they are all married with kids and are so busy. Two they don’t get the pain one truly feels going through this. Here we are in the same boat and understand the pain and how to deal. This place has been amazing. Some days I come here just to read others people situation and read the advice the vets give. There needs to be more support groups for men. I think a lot of people just think we are men and can deal with this and just move on, and why not, we are men. We are the “tough” ones. But like I said my friends don’t understand the hurt of divorce. Especially when we don’t want it.